I just want to be a sheep....baa baa baa baa

I just want to be a sheep baa baa baa baa, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
I just want to be a sheep baa baa baa baa.

Do you know that song?  It is a children's song.  Its a cute song, but boy the words ring true with me.  "I just want to be a sheep" is no small feat.  It means living your life for God, and committing to follow Him.  It means letting Him lead you, without question, and most importantly letting Him find you and rescue you when you've gotten lost.

In February, 2009 after my brother committed suicide, I got lost.  I did not know what I was doing anymore.  I drank and drank and drank trying to stuff my hurt.  A hurt so intense I had not a clue how to deal with it.  The depression, drinking, and pain continued to progress rapidly.  Satan was quite happy with Kristy during this time.  I scared my family, they wondered if they were going to lose yet another child.  I hurt my children, my husband.  But I could not see past myself during this time.

Well, let me tell you that God had other plans for me.  He made it very clear to me on December 3, 2009.  I hit my bottom.  I took my circumstances and turned them around.  God had lost His child, (his sheep) long enough.  He was not going to sit back and wait for me any longer. He was done.  He allowed December 3rd to happen because that was His way of saying "NO MORE.  You are MY Child, and I love YOU." 
That was what it took.  My shepherd brought me back to the safety of His tender loving arms.

And that is why I just want to be a sheep.