I knew he had depression. I knew he had his demons, don't we all? Don't we all at one time or another entertain even if only for a minute, "maybe I'd be better off if..."
But you never really believe it will happen.
That period is blurry for me. I was on auto pilot for the majority of it. I struggled. A lot.
I hurt. I felt pain like nothing else. The guilt was drowning me. I fell and I fell deeply and quickly into a very dark spot.
Fast forward six years, and I have learned my "new normal". I don't feel guilt. I don't feel shame, I don't hurt. I feel grateful that I had my brother for 28 years. I think of him fondly now, with a smile on my face, and happiness in my heart. No more aching. I still miss him, but I am so happy that he is in Heaven with our Savior! He truly is the lucky one.
So thanks for the time we had Danny. Thanks for the awesome memories. You just wait, we will all be with you again in God's time. What a day of rejoicing that will be!!
These are pics you've seen, but that's OK! They are Danny. :)
I love you!
Kristy
