Happy 32nd Birthday, Danny!!

See his silver caps?  :O)

Danny would have turned 32 on Memorial Day this year.  May 30th.
Today I need to honor my brother.  On Saturday we went to Brainerd to visit the cemetery and put down some flowers.  We sang Happy Birthday to him.
So this will be a long post with lots of things in it, but it doesn't compare to having him here.  We would all just give anything to have him with us one more time.  One more time to say I love you, one more time to say "hang in there, its OK".  One more time for a lot of things.  But we don't have one more time.  All we have now are our memories that I will forever keep in my heart.

This first poem is a poem I had sent to Danny that he just loved.  We shared a love of poetry.

I did NOT write this.  I do not know who the author is....sorry.

When I am sad
I sing, remembering
the redwing blackbird's clack.

Then I want nothing
except to turn time back
to what I had
before love made me sad.

When I forget to weep,
I hear the peeping tree toads
creeping up the bark.

Love lies asleep
and dreams that everything
is in its golden net;
and I am caught there, too,
when I forget.

Now this is a poem I wrote and sent to Danny on 1/25/07 (maybe after he moved to SD??)

Super Hero Brother

Cowboy boots, Superman cape, let's not forget the curl!
Walking so proudly, like the little man you were,
cause for conversation you always could stir.

You'd smile, and pretend that you held kryptonite,
I think you truly did believe you'd turn into him at night.

G'nite, peanut butter jelly broken toast~
Ah!  These are the memories that I treasure most.

My baby brother, Daniel, then Danny, and now of course its Dan.
It's been so fun to watch you grow, and turn into a man.

You left this place that was your home, and spread your wings to fly,
your dreams were big, you followed them, how quickly time goes by.

I've seen you broken hearted, broken spirited and all,
I've felt your pain right with you, every time you'd call.

I've seen you oh so happy!  I've seen you fall in love!
I've seen your beliefs grow in our Savior up above.

I see you spread those wings, I see you touch the sky,
I am constantly amazed by you, you're not afraid to fly!

For even when the wind doth blow, and troubles come your way,
you are the special kind of man, who will always know how to make it "OK".

God has blessed you with so many things,
intelligence, drive, and more...
Always hold on to these things~ for they are your very core.

With love I send this greeting, just in case you failed to see,
that I am so very proud of you...

With love always,
ME









Husband and Wife

Graduation

Such a proud Daddy

This is the Danny I remember....wicked sense of humor.  So intelligent it was almost a curse.  He had such a tender heart, and he loved being a fireman.  He loved Sami, and he adored his little boy. 

So that poem I wrote to him when he was still with us.  After Danny died, I wrote another poem and read it at his funeral.  I think its fitting to share here too. 

Today I Choose to Remember You:

Today I choose to remember you for who you really are~Because I love each part of you, your hurt, your pain, your scars.Today I choose to remember you, instead of asking why? Because even if I knew, I'd still be sad and cry. Today I choose to remember you, for all the good you've done, marrying a special Sami, blessed with a beautiful son.Today I choose to remember you, not by getting mad, But for all the years I was blessed enough to have.  Today I choose to remember you, not in how you left, but how I know that you received, Jesus perfect gift.  Today I choose to remember you, By forgiving mistakes you've made, By preserving all the memories to all of us you gave.  Today I choose to remember you, though I hang my head and sigh, I wont forget your smile, your laugh, the tears I heard you cry.  So today I choose to honor you, I sure hope you understand, just how much I love you, you are such a special man.  I love you Danny, and I am very proud of you always and no matter what!!!

And now the memories have to stay tucked in that special spot, and all we have is a place we can go to visit and maybe put some flowers down.  But Danny always said it was important to him that he have a place like so that when he died, people would have a place to go and pay him a visit...

Flowers from Sami

Logo on the head stone

It didn't all fit....sorry...

Flowers from me, mom, and Lisa

Just another peek

The imagination of Emma Beebs

Emily's last day of school was today as well.  Her teacher voted her the "friendliest" in class.  Going above and beyond to make sure everyone is befriended.  How she described it to me was this: "Its my heart.  My heart likes to know that everyone has a friend."  *sigh*  I love her.
She has a great imagination my dearest Emily Anne.  The following are a just two of her little creations.  One is made out of Fruit By The Foot.  We've had that one for quite a while now, but hopefully you can see how neat it is.  The other one is a paper fairy she made.

Garden Fairy

Fruit by the Foot Rose

She has so much song, love, imagination in her heart.  We can all learn a lot about a lot of things from her.

Baseball Games!!

Well......
Caleb played catcher at his game tonight.  The one position I didn't want him playing.  It seems like such a dangerous position to be in....  especially when we're talking about 2nd and 3rd graders!!
Oh well.  He is alive and well... and he is injury free.  Dat's mah boy!!
:O)

He's so cute!  I just love that kid

Today was the last day of school for Emily and Caleb. Caleb's teacher wrote in his memory book that he is dear to her heart and to never lose his charm.  See!  I'm not the only one who sees how special he is!!  Caleb gets to go to his friends cabin for the weekend!!!  That should be so much fun for him.  He gets to fish, play, and just be a little boy.  This will be his first time leaving mom and dad for this long.  I think as long as we answer the phone to say good night he'll be OK though. 

Have a good day everyone!  Take care.

What Little Boys are made of~

Little James was losing his pants after falling into the water!!

 

Little boys come in all shapes and sizes,
Shy and adventurous, full of surprises,
With misshapen halos and mischievous grins,
Small dirty faces, and sweet, sticky chins.

They'll keep you so busy, and yet all the while
Nothing can brighten the world like their smile.
And no greater treasure has brought homes more joy
Than a curious, active, and lovable boy!

                                                    (author unknown)

This is the day that the Lord has made~

I will rejoice and be glad in it.  This is the day!  This is the day that the Lord hath made!!

I love spring.  I love my yard in the spring.  It brings me a sense of contentment.  Peace.  Joy.  Gratefulness.
Spring holds a special place for me just because of how beautiful my yard looks for this season, but I need to learn to embrace all the wondrous works of our Father.  Whether it be snow tipped branches in the blustery winter, the crisp leaves in autumn, or the sights and sounds of summer.  They are all a gift from our Father for us to embrace and appreciate.  Here are a few pics I took while outside today.  Thank you for the beauty, Lord.  Thank you for my house, and thank you for my beautiful yard.

My Lilacs

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Ferns

Tree in my back yard

We put "FUN" in dysfunctional!!

After going out shopping and ordering carpet for Emily's bedroom last night, I went and picked Emily up at Caleb's baseball game that wasn't cancelled (HUGE surprise).  I went and picked Jon up from his friends house and went home. 
I don't know how these things get started, but it doesn't happen very often.  I wish it did because the house was full of laughing, giggling, and a lot of "that needed beat"....(a family saying)
I will tell you we were laughing our fool heads off at  the stupidity and complete "ugliness" we were creating. My wall is still a little to thick to put one up of myself, but here are Emily and Jon in all their glory.
Like Jon said when the fun was over: "I bet we are the only family that did this tonight."  :O)
Enjoy the pics!!

OK maybe this one isn't so ugly...

Oh!  The possibilities of a hair net are endless!!!!

Don't be fooled by their cuteness!!

**sigh**
I wish they acted as sweet as they look in this picture all the time!!  I had to make them stop and pose for me yesterday because I needed to capture something sweet before I lost my mind again...  :O)
The way my kids have been fighting lately makes me very afraid for summer to come.  The 2 younger ones only have 5 days of school left for the year.  They start in August and get out in May.  I am going to have to really stick to my guns with groundings, etc. to help get them back in line.  Not sure if its the weather that is making them so ancy or what, but it is driving me crazy.  OK.  I'm done complaining.
Emily turns 10 in June, and I am taking her and 4 of her friends to the Bunker Hills Stables to go on a horse back ride.  We will go on an hour long trail ride.  I am so excited!!  I think I have a very vague memory of doing some horse back riding with my cousins Eva and Katie as a youngster.  It could be it never happened??  I don't know.  I'll have to ask Katie. 
Caleb's baseball is going really good.  He loves it.  The busier he is the happier he is.  That kid has an arm on him.  He sure can throw a ball.  Can't wait for football to start.  (and I don't even like football!!)
So Caleb came home from school yesterday with a "ticket" that I had to sign.  When you do something wrong, you bring it home and have a parent sign it.  So I read the ticket and it said "Caleb hugged a child's mom in class today and she didn't like it."  His teacher also included "she doesn't know our Caleb and some people have space issues."  Well......I was surprised to say the least.  I explained to Caleb that if a stranger came up and hugged him it would make him feel uncomfortable.  He says "she's not a stranger mom!!  I went to their birthday party, and she comes to class to help.  I didn't see her for like a month so I gave her a hug!!"
I guess some people do have space issues, but it is so hard to wrap my mind around that.  I cannot fathom going into my 2nd graders classroom and getting upset if a  7 or 8 year old came up and hugged me..
Wow.  Maybe she wasn't hugged enough as a child.  Ha ha. 

Well, enjoy the weather, and I hope you all have a day that is as good as it can be.

Are you ever afraid of where our world is going??

My older children struggle with this.  They have a lot of fear regarding our uncertain future here on earth.  They worry over the wars, famines, natural disasters....what's going to happen to us?  We are in serious trouble!!  I don't worry about it.  I pray that I can show my children why they shouldn't have to worry either.
While doing a devotional this morning I came across something I am going to share with my children, and it is worthy of sharing it with all of my other loved ones too. 
Here is why I do not fear my future while I am temporarily visiting:

Malachi 3:6 says "For I am the Lord.  I do not change."
God doesn't talk out of both sides of His mouth.  He doesn't say one thing today and something else tomorrow.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)

If we make His Word (the Bible) the final say in our lives, it will give us a solid place to stand when everything else around us falls away.  If we would just let God settle the issues, we will be confident while others are confused.  We will be at peace while others are under pressure.  We will overcome while others are being overcame.

I believe what the Bible says, not what people say.  I believe in His promises, not what our circumstances say. 

We need to make up our mind to live by faith  in what God says, and not by what we see happening.  I am going to fearlessly commit myself to what's written in the Bible, and there won't be anything in this unstable world that can steal my security.

I do hope you'll join me!  We have nothing to fear when we are God's child.

Have a blessed day!

A day at the water park!

On Saturday, we took the kids to MOA water park.  Lisa had some coupons, so we thought it would be a fun way to spend the day.  We got there around 1:30 or so and stayed until 7:30.  What a great way to get your kids to sleep at night!!  Wow did they have fun.  The food was really expensive, so we only fed them 1x, and had dinner after we left.  The tickets were $15.00 for the entire day though, so it was well worth it.

Beebz

My niece, Kaitlyn and her best friend

Lubber

Caleb and my nephew Dane

Emily, my niece Abby and her friend, Hailee

Michael at his graduation~

I know its a little late........but isn't he adorable???  Hard to believe he's already got a year of college under his belt.  He had his last final on Wednesday.  He's doing great in school.  He moved off campus and into a basement apartment on Thursday.  He got a job at Kohl's, and was nominated secretary of his Rock Climbing Club.  He also has developed a close bond with one of the professors at college. He is a 70 year old man that Michael finds amazing.  Michael calls him a "real life philosopher."

Keep on keepin on Mike.  I pray for you every day. 
You know how much your mamma loves you.

Why I love my sister!!

Yep!!  This is Lisa with her "cute" smile.  Isn't she just precious?  Heh heh.  She is such a goofy, silly, "I don't care what people think" sort of woman.  Maybe someday I'll chill out long enough to not be so reserved.  To be more like her.  She is the type who will dance like nobody is watching, laugh loud and hard and not care who hears her.  She doesn't allow any insecurities to prevent her from enjoying her life and doing what she wants.  I miss out on a lot of fun things because of that, and I always look at her and think "hmm..I want to be like that."
So.........keep it up, sis!!  Maybe someday I'll catch up with ya and we'll be silly together..
(I mean in public.......I know I'm silly at home when no one else is around...)

Love ya!!

Story about a dog named Luke~

Hi to my faithful viewers!  (do I even have any faithful viewers?  LOL)

So, I decided now that I have a picture to go with the story, I will share with y'all how Luke came into my Dad's life.  Obviously this is how I see it...  ;O)

My Dad has had German Shepherds for the majority of his adult life.  Growing up I remember always having a Shepherd in the home.  His last Shepherd, Max lived to about 14?? or so before he had to be put down.  My Dad decided not to get another one.  After Danny died, I could just see the pain, emptiness, loneliness my Dad had, and there was nothing I could do for him.  After a bit of time, I felt this strong desire to find him a German Shepherd.  I thought maybe it would give my Dad "something"......so I started looking around for adult Shepherds that needed a new home and every once in a while I would throw the idea out to him.  After some time, Dad started showing a little bit of interest, so I would send him pics of Shepherds that needed a home, and he always said "No.....I don't think so.  Its going to take a very special dog before I'll consider it."  After that, I stopped looking for a while. 
A few weeks later I saw this random ad for a German Shepherd that needed a new home.  There was no picture, very limited information about the dog in the ad, pretty much just a phone number.  Now I am not one to pick up the phone and call a stranger to inquire about a dog, but something told me to go for it.  So  I called this gal, she sent me a picture, told me all this information about "Lucian" (the name he used to have), and I emailed the pic to my dad with all the information I had gathered.  He wanted to meet him!!  I was so excited!!  So I called the gal back, made arrangements for her to drive to my parents house, my dad took the day off of work, and the woman drove him to my parents house.  She had told me how worried she was because the dog was so attached to her, and hadn't been raised with a man in the house, and didn't know how the dog would do with such a situation. 
I tell you what.  That dog hopped out of her vehicle and never looked back, and neither did my dad.
This dog needed my Dad and my Dad needed this dog.  The way it happened is so amazing to me.  God's hand was in this from the beginning.  Luke has filled my Dad's heart with love and joy.  Helped fill some of the emptiness he feels.  My Dad has filled Luke's heart with the same stuff.  Luke is a spoiled, very much loved German Shepherd, and I am so grateful that God brought him into my Dad's life.
Its just what he needed!!

"Mr. Rookee Rook"

Happy Mother's Day~

".......Take these flowers grown in heaven Lord, and say they are from me.   Place them in my Mother's arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while.  Tell her not to cry too hard, please wipe away her tears.  Tell her tho' she can't see me, I love her and am always here."

I know this is what Danny is thinking, and I wish he were here to hand her some flowers, hug her, and hold her a while himself.....

Holiday's are hard for my parents now.  I don't know if they always will be or not, but right now they are, and they will never be the same, that is for sure.

So Happy Mother's Day Mom.
I love you very much.

Today, I'll keep it simple.

Our fence is almost up!!!

Troy, his dad, Lionel, and Caleb have been working really hard when weather allows to get our privacy fence up.  They are almost done with it!!!  It is looking so nice, and I am so grateful for the work Troy and his Dad have been doing.  It is HARD work.  And when Caleb is home, he is out there helping too.  In fact, last night, Troy and Caleb actually got some more fencing put in!!!  So Caleb is out there really helping a lot.
Here is a pic of my favorite corner of the lot:

Isn't it beautiful????

I think we might put down some dirt and rock around the perimeter of the fence on the inside to prevent digging from any dogs....I wasn't sure what I thought about that at first, but I think it will look really nice.

So thank you Troy.  Thank you Lionel, and thank you Caleb.
I appreciate your hard work!!